I’ve been vacationing on a beach for the last couple of weeks and am just catching up on all the trailers I received while I was away. While I did get a few worthwhile ones to share (Pearl Jam Twenty, The Ides of March, Paranormal Activity 3), three stuck out for how terrible they are and made me shake my head in disgust. Let’s take a look.
Battleship
This is the first of many movies based on classic board games coming up in the next few years (no, really) and never in a million years did I think they would take it in the direction of an alien invasion movie. Lo and behold that’s what it looks like they did, and now Battleship is going the path of a really long war scene from Independence Day or Transformers. Not that I expected a smart military movie based on the game, but I was hoping for a scene with Liam Neeson yelling “They sunk my battleship!” Battleship is set to open May 18, 2012.
Shark Night
What do you get when you mix Jaws and Piranha with Hostel and Final Destination? Shark Night of course! This could be a fun B-movie (it’s from the director of Snakes on a Plane), but the trailer is atrocious and puts it on the same level as one of the straight-to-SyFy movies like Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus. Maybe that’s the point and it will turn out to be a surprise. Shark Night chomps into theatres, in 3-D, September 2, 2011.
New Year’s Eve
After the disaster that was Valentine’s Day, director Garry Marshall is at it again with New Year’s Eve. And if you’re expecting anything different, don’t. This is the exact same formula he used for Valentine’s Day only set on New Year’s Eve instead. The cast seems to include everyone in Hollywood working today, with Robert De Niro, Hilary Swank, Zac Efron, Abigail Breslin, Sarah Jessica Parker, Halle Berry, Julie Andrews, and many others starring, but none seem to add anything of value. Watch the trailer and then forget you saw it. New Year’s Eve opens December 9, 2011.
Top image: A scene from Shark Night. Courtesy eOne Films.
