On a technical level, Madonna’s second film in the director’s chair W.E. is patently insufferable to sit through. The amount of talent and opulence being wasted on screen feels overwhelming and there isn’t a sensible or believable idea on screen. On a camp level,W.E. might be one of the greatest films ever made. The shallow excess of this Royal baiting, time shifting romantic melodrama suggests that no one other than Madonna could’ve ever made such a film. Looking like a billion dollars, but as hollow and soulless as an $80 million Chanel no. 5 advert, W.E. is an admirable auteurist production that still isn’t good in the slightest.
Unhappy with her routine life and unhappy marriage, Manhattanite Wally Winthrop (Abbie Cornish) finds her only solace in sneaking into Sotheby’s auction house to get glimpses at an upcoming estate auction of artefacts from the Duke and Duchess of Windsor. In her mind she’s transported back to the days of the Windsors, and becomes obsessed with the illicit love affair between King George the VIII (James D’Arcy) and the American Wallis Simpson (Andrea Riseborough). The film follows both parallels fairly equally as the audience gets to see the turmoil behind their personal relationships.
To say that W.E. takes style far more seriously than substance (despite being half a period drama) would be the understatement of the decade. The script (also co-written by Madonna) only tells the plot through massive exposition dumps every few minutes so she can race on over to her next ridiculously overblown set piece. Her directorial style is akin to that of Michael Bay in that her palate is a mess of shiny things shown through the most disorienting set of whip-pans ever employed on screen. It feels like a two hour commercial for a product that never tells you what the product is, but plot points involving a Cartier charm bracelet and some well placed bottles of perfume tell you where her passions really lie.
But is that really worth ragging on? I flat out know that I’m not the audience for this film, but I’m not quite sure I want to know the people this film is aimed at. This film could be loved only by Madonna’s most die hard supporters or rich people that have been cloistered for so long they haven’t left their estate in decades. At the same time, it’s such a rich and singularly unique vision that it’s impossible to deny that craft and thought had to go into the production no matter how thoroughly off putting it all is.
The performances are largely a joke in both storyline. In the present day, Cornish is comatose and everyone around her is still dressed as a 1920s flapper and smokes inside of public buildings leading one to wonder just how often Madonna gets out of the house. In the days of the royals everyone is wasted out of their minds and dancing, singing, and playing all the time, so no one has to stretch further than histrionic or boozy. Oscar Issac, God bless him, actually escapes with his dignity fully intact with a soulful performance as a security guard sweet on Wally, but it’s hard to ignore that he’s still a Latino actor inexplicably playing a Russian.
For most of the film it’s impossible to know exactly what’s going on in the lives of the characters and even harder to bring oneself to care for any of them. Visually, there’s a lot going on, and while the production design team works overtime, it’s all for naught. I couldn’t shake the feeling that many more humanist dramas could’ve been made with the money wasted on this out of touch production. If the movie wasn’t so darn outlandish and crazed it would be depressing, but this is a prime piece of crazy.
As a movie:
Rating: 
As a camp experience:
Rating:
Rated 14A
Cast: Abbie Cornish, Andrea Riseborough, James D’Arcy, Oscar Isaac
Directed by: Madonna
Top image: A scene from W.E. Courtesy eOne Films.
